Early last week, my mom told me that a little girl we know through church was "preparing for heaven." Remarkably, those are the little girl's own words. She has never been afraid of her impending death since being diagnosed with a brain tumor just over a year ago because she was excited to "finally be going home."
Trinity, that faithful little girl, passed away last night. I can't say that I have any idea how it would feel to be facing the end of your life here on earth. But I do believe in heaven and I believe Trinity is there now, dancing amongst the other angels who I also believe are in heaven with her. And, afterall, the Bible implies that all children go to heaven. (See, Mark 10:14, amongst other places.) My own ability to be sure of what I hope for, and certain of what I do not see, lessens the resounding sadness I feel for the littles I have known and lost only a little, but enough that I can muster a smile in my heart when I picture Trinity now with the happy smile her tumor had taken away. I'd like to say I will have the grace, peace and glory Trinity demonstrated during her final days. I am likely praying for such strength in church right now as you read this post. Not just because I feel such a prayer is an appropriate prayer but because death is something that bothers me in general. Umm... I know this bothers probably everyone but I worry I am bothered by it more than most, says the girl with anxiety over many things. In true Lisamarie fashion, I watched the movie, My Life Without Me, last night (after the Notre Dame game, of course) just to ensure I was feeling as sad as possible. I don't know why I inflict pain on myself like that. FYI: don't watch that movie if you are already sad about anything. And FYI: Its a movie with a very non-religious outlook on death play by, not surprisingly, an athiest actress.
In one last act of earthly inspiration, Trinity was so kind to leave us all a short little note that I encourage you to check out if you are a believer in God or if you are merely intersted in reading the final thoughts of a ten year old girl: http://prayfortrinity.com/2012/11/24/in-glory/.
So this past week, as I worried about Trinity, I worried less about work and burdensome obligations (which were/are truly overcoming me), and spent a little extra time talking to my mom, laughing with my sister, snuggling with my favorite guy, and being outside.
How do you like to spend your time when you are trying to savor it?